Things to Remember When Dealing With An Extreme Extrovert
1. We Seriously Value Face-to-Face Interaction-
In the day of smart phones, hardly anyone has real conversations anymore. You specifically get together to have "girl time" and chat, and everyone is mindlessly scrolling through Instagram while pretending to listen to you. I love social media and you all know I spend more than my fair share on it... But, I will take your phone out of your hand and break it against a wall if you're looking at it while pretending to ask me about my day. You can ask my friends, I've more than once made them put their phones on top of one another at the table, face down, until dinner is over. And I think they hate me for that.
2. We Get Bored Easily-
Movies, sporting events, even relationships- if it's uneventful and there is no change of pace/scenery, we are probably bored and we will probably tell you.
3. We like Finishing Things More than Starting Them-
Or... maybe we appreciate the destination more than we appreciate the journey. Some people might see this as a negative trait, but I truly believe we like to see and appreciate the outcome of the hard work we've put in. Michael Jordan said, "I'm not out there sweating for three hours a day just to know what it feels like to sweat". It's not just a game if you're winning!
4. We Are Multi-taskers-
Sitting still for an entire movie is almost impossible. I truly believe this is why I am more of a "tv person" than a "movie person". I am afraid of the commitment of an entire movie, and I scared I won't be able to get up and start other projects in the middle of it. Extroverts prefer to be constantly in motion. If this isn't possible through physical activities, it will be happening mentally. Currently, I have 7 different tabs open on my computer and I am working on something separate on each of them, simultaneously. Work, music, thoughts, and creations will happen.
5. We Are Loud-
"There may be some situations in which an extrovert truly will talk too much, in which case they could use a little reminder of how loud or boisterous they’re becoming. If you’re out at an event and you notice that your significant other is being so boisterous that they could be considered obnoxious and annoying, it’s fine to take them aside and ask them to scale their behavior back a couple of notches. If they’re just having a great time, though, and others seem to be enjoying their company, let them be." This person said it better than I could. We know we are loud. We are often excited and passionate about a situation or event, or just trying to lighten someones day up and be funny, so try to be kind when addressing this. We have feelings too!
6. We Don't Like Space-
This is one I had a hard time admitting to myself for a while. I always wanted to be the girl who didn't need social interaction or other people at any given point in my life. The older I get, the more I realize that is so untrue. We actually get a little confused and scared when we are by ourselves for too long. Which brings me to my next point...
7. Just Because we like Social Interaction does NOT Mean We Always Want to be the Center of Attention-
We like hearing public acceptance or appreciation (who doesn't?) because we care so much about other people and being in social situations. Friends and family are our primary frame of reference of whether or not we are a decent human being or if we are successful this far in life. So just as a compliment in a group setting can make our week, a negative comment in a group setting can crush and embarrass us. This relates to my next point...
8. When you say "Maybe" we Hear "Probably"-
This is mostly due to the fact that we want to hang out with you so badly we have already convinced ourselves you are coming, or we are sure we can convince you to come. If you don't come or don't want to come, we don't get it because we know we can get you to have fun.
9. We Also Like Down Time...
We love social interaction, but we need recharging. We always have an escape route for social events. This doesn't mean we want to be alone. This means we want to dedicate all of our spare time to the people that mean the most to us and take a break from all the socializing.
10. We Operate in Extremes-
Extreme highs to extreme lows, all in one day, or maybe one hour. When we feel something, we feel it strong and passionately and we CANNOT hide these emotions, even if we wanted to. Even though extroverts and generally linked to facts and a black and white perspective, they often operate on emotion because they DO THINGS before they THINK THEM THROUGH. On the other hand, introverts more often think things through before doing or saying them. Which brings me to my next point...
11. We Are Open Books-
You will never have to guess what is on our mind. If there is something upsetting us, you will see it on our face, and almost instantly hear it come out of our mouth. We also appreciate the same from you. We don't understand how people can act one way to our face and act another way behind our back, how is that any way to solve an issues? We like real people because we can relate. Be straight forward and kind. We will probably be mad for a bit, but we will appreciate your honesty and friendship in the long run.
12. We are Drawn to the Action, or the Most Interesting Person-
In public situations, we will not stay in one place. We often find ourselves lingering towards the shiny sparkly interesting things or people, or wherever the most action is going down. It's not that we don't love talking to you, there are just so many things to do and so many people to talk to!
13. We Are Stubborn-
We are very stubborn, and there is a good chance it comes out differently than your stubbornness. Ours can run deep, and it can be an internal battle. I remember as a kid, I would get in trouble by mom and dad, and I would pack a bag of snacks and books and ride my bike down to the creek. I would sit out there for hours in the dark and cold hoping Mom would come look for me, apologize, and make it right, even thought I made the mistake most times. If we know we are wrong, and we wan't to apologize, it still can be so painful.
14. We Want You to be Excited About what We are Saying-
If we have something we are passionate about, we are REALLY passionate about it, and we will tell the people that are closest to us. We will also tell everyone at a party, if the conversation is brought up. The worst thing in the world is when we are telling you what we believe and why, and you look bored or annoyed.
15. Appreciate that they have the Ability to Pull You Off the Couch-
You might hate this about your extrovert friend, or significant other, when all you want to do is sit on the couch and eat ice cream and cuddle. However, the multiple times we have bullied you into getting up and going out, we make it our duty to make sure you have fun. Plus, who is going to remember the 27th time you watched that episode of The Office?
16. We Are Quick to Get Mad and Quick to Forgive-
We say things before we think, and that causes more conflict and confusion sometimes. However, honesty and talking through things leads to faster conflict resolution. Plus, we are so busy planning our next week/month/year we don't have time to be mad at you anymore, so let's talk and yell and hug until everyone is happy again.
17. We Cannot Function Until an Issue Has Been TALKED Through-
Relating to my last point, we cannot get ANY work done until a conflict is solved. We hate sitting alone with our thoughts and we don't like when you want time alone with yours. It will eat at us. If there is an issue, I will have to get a hold of you immediately and I will not leave until it is resolved.
Xoxo to my fellow extroverts and those with overbearing personality traits like myself❤️