Why You Should Always Give the "Nice Guy" A Shot
"Nice guys finish last"...?
You hear it over and over again, "nice guys finish last", and you generally hear it from a guy who considers himself a nice guy. He says this to you after you decide you weren't into him on your first awkward date, because there was no spark and no attraction, and he smelled like smoke and socks, like it is some sort of excuse for this "nice guy" to completely give up his niceness, and turn on you, and be a jerk from now on. This is not a nice guy. This is a desperate guy, who is only nice to you if you show interest. This guy sees you from across the room (or more accurately on suggested friends on Facebook) and thought you weren't horrible looking, found out you are single and now thinks you are perfect for him. This guy just wants a girlfriend, and doesn't care who it is, so he obnoxiously tries to flatter you with gifts and compliments on your first encounter, even if he's not feeling it, and gets upset when you aren’t feeling it. Quite frankly, I don't think these guys even know what they are feeling. But I know one thing, nothing is worse than being told by your friends and family to go out on dates with the "nice guy" that you are NOT attracted to. "He is sooo nice!" they say because they know they ALREADY know YOU WON'T LIKE HIM and they're trying to convince you this over the top "niceness” is a totally acceptable substitute for everything else they’re lacking.
And you go, because you’re sick of bad dudes, but this is worse than a bad dude- it’s awkward and uncomfortable and forced and then they go say terrible things about you when you when you don’t want date #2. This is the worst, and I highly recommend staying away from the “desperate guy”.
However, for the actual nice guys that don't change personalities when you are straightforward with them, the stereo-type can often ring true as well. Men and women BOTH are attracted to confidence. Often times that confidence comes wrapped up in a pretty face, tall, dark, and handsome, a great smile, self-assured, sarcastic, and cheeky package that you find yourself enticed by. I will never apologize for being attracted to confidence. But on that note… watch out, WATCH OUT, watch out, for the “confidence” that comes out as over-bearing, obnoxious, inappropriate, or disrespectful. That’s not confidence, and that guy is not nice. I’ve learned that it’s possible for a man to be confident and kind at the same time. The nice guy won’t come off as outspokenly or aggressively confident- such as dumb pickup lines or rude remarks during class to make people laugh- he has a quiet confidence that he is CONFIDENT enough to keep within himself, unless needed. Besides their quiet, intriguing confidence, here are a couple other reasons, out of 6 bazillion, why you should ALWAYS give the nice guy a shot, even if you just want to pinch their cheeks and be their BFF at first.
HE WILL ALWAYS BE NICE TO YOU- this one’s literally written within the stereotype, guys. Say you go on a couple dates with this guy, and you just are not feeling any type of connection or seeing a possible future, you don’t have to worry about hiding from him in the College of Business or him ruining your reputation out of pride/embarrassment. He’s genuinely nice and he’s confident enough to move on, and he will probably continue some type of friendship with you. That’s nice.
He is kind to other people- His parents, his elders, the waitress, and children. Do you want a man that is going to yell or flip somebody off when somebody accidentally cuts him off?
He literally teaches you by example, and makes you a better person- Don’t always wonder if your relationship is healthy or worth the arguments. Instead, become a better person, you grow and learn together.
You can be yourself- He already likes you for who you are, and you can trust him, so you aren’t worried about how you look or are acting, or constantly keeping him interested. Be your crazy weird self.
The communication is real!- You can be honest, he can be honest, and you can work through issues in a healthy way. He isn’t hiding anything and you don’t have to either. You don’t have to guess what he is thinking or guess why he is mad at you. No mind games here- because he isn’t in this to cause drama!
You can trust him- When you’re at Aunt Lucille’s for the weekend, you don’t have to constantly worry or check up on him because let’s be real… you just don’t trust him. And if you “just don’t trust him”, girl, that’s a bad sign.
They are generous- Relationships are about compromise, a little give and a little take. The nice guy is a generous guy, and is willing to compromise on things. He lets you chose where you eat dinner, which Netflix show you’re going to watch, or what your weekend plans are. This may not seem like a big deal to you until you are in a relationship where you aren’t allowed an opinion.
They have good intentions.
He will make you laugh- There’s a good chance a majority of his jokes will be awkward and cheesy, but its endearing and you’ll laugh a lot.
You don’t have to worry about getting broken up with- or left- Some relationships just don’t work out, and some people just aren’t good for one another. With a nice guy, however, you can be certain that when you mess up or have a bad disagreement he isn’t just walking out the door because he gave up. He will talk through it with you and probably forgive you because he doesn’t have "someone better" on his radar and actually cares about you and how you feel.
He loves the Lord- the most important of them all. If he loves the Lord, it will be important for him to seek Christ, and he will be growing and becoming a better person everyday.
I could go on and on about this, it is close to my heart!
My final advice- don't write somebody off because they are "friendship material" or you're "just too good of friends". AND DON'T YOU DARE write somebody off because they are "too nice"... The best boyfriends are also your best friend!