My Anti-Bucket List
It seems like every one has a "bucket list". There is even a movie made about this unrealistic expectation to finish all these extravagant events and travel all these exotic places before your death. If you live an average life and make an average salary, this is impractical, but a nice fantasy. I'm assuming a tiny percentage of folks complete all these items, or even remember where they stuck that sticky note. Personally, I think it is just as important, and more sustainable, to create a list of the person you don't want to be, or the experiences you don't want to have. With that being said, here is an amazing list of things I can't wait to not do before I die.
Become a vegetarian/vegan- lol. Why would you ever do this voluntarily? I get some folks have to do this for health reasons, and they are sad about it, so have some bacon in honor of these people. Some girl named Rain with rainbow hair that refuses to eat meat to save the baby cows is generally unaware that her lipstick, eye-shadow, soap, and basically any cosmetic product is made from animal bi-products.
Run a marathon- this seems obviously miserable to me. I can kind of get ob board if you LIKE running, but I've never understood how someone can LIKE running. And I get that this can be chalked up as a major accomplishment to be proud of, if you don't die whist trying to accomplish it. However, WHY make yourself miserable? Coming from someone that loves being active and most sports, I would much rather... do anything else honestly.
Give up coffee- this is something I have tried and then realized it was the worst decision of my life- and besides, Google tells me coffee has more health benefits than drawbacks, and Google is always right. Addicts unite!
Hitchhiking- I know I know, some people have to. But some people also do it for the experience. No. Rent a car, or a bus, a bike, or ride a horse. Anything but jumping in cars with strangers.
Go to Chicago- I hate the thought of this city more than other cities, and I don't know why to be honest. I have never been there, but I have it engraved in my brain that Chicago is dirty and ugly and full of crime, and is perpetually overcast. Plus anyone that knows me knows I do NOT function well in big cities. I get that from my mom. Thanks, mom. And sorry people from Chicago.
Be on Naked and Afraid- or any other survival reality TV show for that matter... but believe me, I would go on Survivor 99 times and eat scorpions on Fear Factor before someone could convince me to run around buck naked in all my glory on an island, alone with a random man, and 6 bazillion hungry mosquitoes. Another thing that makes me go WHY!?
Getting matching tattoos with a friend or BF- people come and go, but tattoos stay forever. Enough said.
GO TO CHINA- 20 PERCENT OF THE WORLD'S POPULATION LIVES HERE. I seriously have nightmares about this. I'm sure China has it's pretty countryside (??) and unique culture that some think are worth the trip. I get anxiety when there are other people are in the same aisle as me at the grocery store.. No thanks to 7 day long traffic jams and people putting their feet on your head in a public pool.
Go to Burning Man or Coachella- is there even music, or events, or fun? Or do people just dress like freaks and take selfies?
Road trip across the US- you can only be trapped in a car with someone so long before you want to bash your head through a wall.
Work in fast food- we need people to do all the jobs, and I appreciate the people that do. Personally, this one freaks me out the most.
Live in the city- Country roads, take me home. This goes along with the whole "don't do well in cities" thing.
Protest- if you believe in something enough to picket around the neighborhood topless with homemade signs, why not just do something to actually change the issue? Start an organization, donate some money, etc. You're not making a difference. Sorry.